I am a lifelong introvert (specifically, an INTJ on the Myers-Briggs scale, which means I’m more introverted than 97% of the population), something that I unfortunately haven’t fully appreciated about myself until midlife. When I was younger, I always knew I was different, but I wasn’t sure exactly why (there were so many potential reasons!) I have always been drawn to introspection and reflection. In school I was a good student, but had few friends. Socializing was very difficult for me, and, as I got into my teens, the added realization that I was gay (this was the late ’70s, and it was not cool then) just made me retreat deeper into my own protective world. Surely no one else was like me! (while this is true of all of us, to some extent – and this is a good thing! – the isolation of feeling that nobody can relate to you is truly depressing).
I am also a lifelong entrepreneur, having started my own business when I was 18 and keeping it for almost thirty years. Being my own boss worked well for me, as it does for many introverts. I had considerable success with running my own show, but it prevented me from pursuing another passion – furthering my education. When I was fifty I finally completed a degree in writing and English Literature, 33 years after high school graduation, mainly in the interest of embracing long-neglected interests.
The title of my blog (“Full With Tomorrow”) is borrowed from my favorite song, Neil Diamond’s Holly Holy, an infectious, hopeful composition with lyrics that speak to my lonely soul, as so much of his introspective music does: “Take the lonely child, and the seed, let it be full with tomorrow.” This uplifting song is about hope and the power of belief, suggesting that we all have a way out of whatever it is that is holding us back; there is always something to hold on to, something to look forward to. From great tragedy can come great triumph. Indeed, that is often the only place from which it comes. As the poet Robert Bly said, “where your wound is, that is where your genius will be.”
The blog title is also a reference to the metaphysical teaching that we create our own realities. Our thoughts are indeed “full with tomorrow,” the seeds of our future. We plant these seeds every day with the words we speak and the thoughts we think. We’re always creating our tomorrows, though not very consciously. We need to be more mindful in word, thought and deed, and that is a subject I will write on often. I’ll also admit that I’m not very good at following these precepts – an admission that, in itself, runs the risk of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy for me. See how this works? According to your belief, so be it unto you.
Some other passions of mine include symphonic music (especially that of Beethoven and Tchaikovsky, truly tragic figures who created emotional masterpieces); opera, a glorious world of passion for which I author a separate blog; Broadway shows (I have recordings of over 800 of them!); Neil Diamond (whom I have seen in concert over a dozen times and whose deeply introspective music has added much richness to my life); reading (a true introvert passion – I greatly admire Shakespeare, Dickens, Kafka, classic literature in general, as well as more contemporary writers like Stephen King and Wally Lamb); American history, the machinations of politics and the presidency (which I follow like some people follow sports – Election Day is my Super Bowl), quantum physics, and the true nature and mysteries of “reality.”
As is probably evident, I greatly admire those who manage to creatively express themselves in ways that move others – especially those who take their pain and create something divine from it (the quintessential example of which has to be the last movement of Tchaikovsky’s Sixth Symphony). I hope you enjoy my posts and find something that strikes a chord for you. To quote a passage from my favorite movie, Shadowlands, “we read to know we’re not alone.” I hope I help you feel less alone, and that you discover things that speak uniquely to you.